It is my pleasure to host author Vincent Z. Angel on my blog today. His book The Book Modern Women Hate is available for purchase now.
Have you always wanted to be a writer?
Yes, I’ve always wanted to be a writer. My earliest memory of this passion was when I was a teenager reading Shakespeare’s plays and Charles Dickens’ novels. I got into a poetry phase sound that time, luckily got out of it after writing probably 150 poems. Not proud. Later in life I always thought I would write about Economics and related subjects. But my first book as it turns out is more of a self help book. However, I like that because it speaks to the importance I have placed on the subject we are tackling in the book. The way I look at it, nothing else really matters more than our personal relationships. Research by Economists, psychologists, sociologists and even anthropologists show that the quality of life of a person is more affected by the quality of relationships they have than anything else. At the center of it, we all want to do well. I thought this book will help us get closer to that ideal.
What made you pen down The Book Modern Women Hate?
Sometime ago I read a book by Dr. Thomas sowell called Black rednecks and white liberals, in it he described the plight of black Americans in America, from slavery up untill the early 90’s. I was moved by certain facts such as how much progress Black Amercicans had made coming out of Slavery, bein an illiterate people with zero wealth and struggling to attain equal rights. I was puzzled by the fact that, in worse conditions black Americans thrived, they got educated at an astronomical rate, they had valuable job skills and had their families intact. However, in the mid 1900’s, that is in better conditions by all measures black Americans seemed to do much worse. This lead me to a report titled ‘The Negro Family: The Case For National Action, commonly known as the Moynihan Report, written in 1965 on black poverty in the United States by Daniel Patrick Moynihan. The report described how the disintegration of the black family was a primary cause of poverty and all kinds of delinquencies such as high crime rates in their communities. The fact that the single motherhood rate was rising fast, not just in the black community but countrywide. That’s around the time I discovered Kevin Samules on youtube where he would talk about dating and relationships and he seemed to point out a lot of the things I had read. It was youtube style and felt like clickbait, but he spoke the truth. He had a lot of listeners and people could not ignore him. I realized the importance of what he was talking about. He encouraged healthy relationships and advised people on how to be a better partner for life long relationships. He believed this to be the fix our society needs and I couldn’t agree more. That’s when my co author and I decided we could write a short condensed version of his advice and make it available to both men and women, and later we decided just to focus on women. That’s how we ended up with The Book Modern Women Hate.
What exactly is this book about?
The book is really about helping women to get and stay married, obviously if they want to. Personally I think getting married should be a priority for everyone. There is a strong case to make in support of marriage. But I understand that people have their own concerns. So, the book mainly addresses women by giving them the mens perspective on how most modern women have been navigating dating and relationships and how it has cost them. We attempt to give advice on how to avoid dating mistakes that lead many to be single, bitter and desperate in their 30’s. We discuss what men look for in a woman, from a mens perspective, not from women as it has been for so long. And that is an important distinction.
What according to you is the main reason relationships don’t last these days?
There are many reasons all of which are in the book, but I will give you one for now. I think most relationships these days don’t last because the people in the relationship have different values and value systems. When people don’t value the same things it’s impossible to find common ground. I’ll give an example. Most women think it’s their boyfriend or husband’s job to make them happy, because to them the most important reason for staying in the relationship, being happy. You hear it from phrases like ‘happy wife, happy life’. So the days she is unhappy she starts to question the whole relationship. This is even worse because even when the man thinks his girlfriend’s happiness is the priority, it still wont work because he can never make her happy. Noone can make you happy. Expecting someone to be responsible for your happiness is just unfair to them and futile for you. So when I say differing values, what I mean is: Are people on the same page about what the purpose of your relationship is?, About what is important to prioritize inorder to sustain the relationship? Relationships are built, which means it’s a conscious effort that takes time and resources. I know it doesn’t sound romantic, but if you want romance go and watch tv, in real life this is how relationships work.
Does that mean the book preaches to accept misbehavior from men?
Haha, Not by a long shot. No, not at all. Look, men in most societies, particularly western societies are more often reprimanded for their bad behavior than women are. Here is an example off the top of my head: phrases like ‘Toxic Masculinity’ exist solely to tell men to stop certain behaviors. All of us look down on Men who leave their families and run off leaving them to struggle on their own. We all hate those men and we ridicule them and call them deadbeat fathers. For good reason because that’s unacceptable behavior. But on the other hand we praise single mothers, that is women who have kids with multiple men of which they are not married to. We even honor them and talk of how they ‘don’t need men’. Yet she might not need a man but her kids need a father. They get called ‘strong and independent’ to the point of almost encouraging single motherhood. The book is bringing attention to the bad behavior women have gotten away with. The behavior which has caused suffering not just to them, but to societies. Noone celebrates mens bad behavior but womens misbehavior is often celebrated. A man who is unable to provide for his family will be shamed, yet a woman who cannot cook for his family and provide them with a clean home is celebrated as a liberated woman. Our society demands men to be traditional, while making no such demands on women. In fact women who are traditional are shamed and laughed at as oppressed. The book is merely asking not to accept bad behavior from both men and women.
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Playing or watching soccer/football, listening to podcasts, reading books, exercising, usually Jogging, swimming, Yoga or Pilates
Are there any new projects underway?
Dumi (my co-author) and I have another book coming ‘The Book Modern Women Hate: Why everything you’ve been told about dating and relationships is a lie’, I am also working on a separate solo book about Tech and Finance.
We also have plans to take our Youtube channel off the ground, where we will talk about all the things that interest us, including such content as in this book.
Vincent Z. Angel is a Tech expert and avid Investor. He is a student and mentee of Prophet Uebert Angel Snr and Dr. Thomas Sowell. He is a software engineer, a cloud architect & investor by profession. He is passionate about the latest trends in technology, finance and Investing. His interests range from social theory, economics, politics. He holds degrees in Business Administration and Software Engineering. He has founded multiple organizations and owns multi businesses across tech and agriculture and finance sector. At heart Vincent is a free thinker, who is uncompromising with his Christian Values.
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