It is my pleasure to host author Lisa Franklin on my blog today.
Me: What made you pen down Break Every Chain?
Lisa: I decided to share my story as a way to, not only heal myself, but to help others. The world is very quiet in its knowledge of emotional, mental, psychological, and financial abuse. We still see abuse as strictly physical and although physical abuse is very real, so is emotional abuse. Emotional abuse may not leave physical scars to the naked eyes, but the scars are certainly there. I wrote this to bring awareness to this silent abuse and hopefully bring hope to anyone that is in an abusive relationship. You can get out.
Me: It draws from your personal experience. Was it emotionally taxing for you or was it liberating to revisit everything and write it down?
Lisa: Writing this book was an emotional journey. To revisit those moments in my life where I was so lost and mentally damaged was extremely taxing for me. I felt as if I were re-living these moments and it was draining. There were days where I couldn’t write anything because I had to give myself a mental and emotional break. But I knew I couldn’t stop. Although it was exhausting, it was also very liberating to finally get the emotions out; to finally be able to talk about it and put it into words. It felt like an incredible purge of the psychological torture I went through. So to bring this book to life was both taxing and liberating. It was great healing.
Me: What should readers expect from this book?
Lisa: Anyone that reads this book should expect transparency. It’s hard to describe what life is like in a relationship that’s emotionally abusive. Any reader should expect the hard, real, truth of abuse and the things that one will do to themselves to just survive that private hell.
Me: Finding yourself back in an abusive relationship is hard. Confronting that you are not yourself anymore is even harder. When was the first time you recognized that something needed to change?
Lisa: Well, I married him twice so the first time I felt that something needed to change was when I left him the first time. At that time, I couldn’t define what was happening, I just knew that things weren’t right. You’re not supposed to make your spouse feel like they’re worthless and not good enough. So I left. When I came back and we decided to try again, it was about 18 months into the second marriage that I realized that he was only showing me what I wanted to see in order to get me back. Even after that, I stayed. A few years passed and my self harm and depression was deep, I looked at him as he slept and felt like one of us had to die. And I didn’t feel remorseful. I knew that the thought was wrong but I didn’t feel bad. That’s when I knew that I was not myself and I had to get out. I wasn’t me in a lot of ways. I had become someone I didn’t know. I was abusing drugs. I was self harming. I attempted suicide a few times. This was not who I was. This was who I had become in order to survive.
Me: Is there a way one can spot a narcissist?
Lisa: If you’ve never encountered a narcissist, you would never spot one. Narcissist are very deceptive people. They are like chameleons. They hide behind who they are in order to gain trust and it goes from there. Now, if you’ve ever had a narcissistic parent or co-worker or friend or boyfriend /girlfriend, you’ll be able to see the signs in the next relationship very fast. This book shows several red flags that may help the reader to determine if he or she is in a relationship with a narcissist.
Me: How is that previous Lisa different from the one today?
Lisa: In my marriage, I completely lost who I was. I had become someone that I didn’t know. I transformed myself into who he wanted me to be to survive in that relationship. I didn’t know what I liked or didn’t like. I didn’t know what I thought, unless I asked his opinion first and formed my opinion around his opinion. I had become very pessimistic and everything was gloom and doom. I agreed with the things he said and did, even if it hurt someone. I became him in order to survive.
The woman that I am today, is authentically and organically me. I now know that it’s ok to be happy. It’s ok to want to have friends. It’s ok to laugh. It’s ok to have my own dreams. I am optimistic about life and the future that I see that I have. It’s ok to feel. I know that my feelings aren’t overrated. I have a voice and deserved to be heard. I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be great.
Me: What message would you like to give our readers who might be going through the same?
Lisa: I want people to know that if you’re going through an abusive relationship of any kind, that you have to get out. I understand that people have children and they want to stay for their children or the idea of how they wanted their family to be. But no abuse is acceptable and you can leave. You don’t have to have money saved because there are programs to help. I want them to know that love is not enough to stay. Money is not enough to stay. I want them to know that it’s important for your mental health to leave the abusive. The Department of Social Services recognizes emotional abuse as abuse. I want the readers to know that this is silent abuse that leave no physical evidence but it is abuse and it’s just as harmful, if not more, than physical abuse. You can get out. If this book is able to save at least one person, then I’ve succeeded.
Me: Are there any new projects underway?
Lisa: I’m definitely working on a couple of new projects! My business partner and I are really focused on building our brand called LeTrap Empires. LeTrap is an acronym for “Learning Everyday To Reach All Possibilities” and it’s about helping others to use everyday to reach their full potential. Writing and publishing is just a small part of the bigger picture. I am currently writing a book on finding true peace in your life as well as an addition to Break Every Chain. I am working on getting out into the community and speaking about triumphing in the face of adversity.
Soon to be best selling author, Lisa Franklin, has always had a fondness for words. Like most children, she liked writing essays for class and short stories in her spare time. Although she is an author, the mother of six has worn the hats of a doctor, therapist, teacher, judge, coach, and playmate.
As a survivor of abuse, Lisa advocates for strong mental health and victims of domestic violence. She uses her experience to help others recognize and respond to abuse; and to rebuild their lives. She currently lives is Maryland.
For an autographed copy reach out to Lisa on:
lisacburgess@gmail.com
